Suppositories Don't Amuse Me

Pharmacy professors aren't stand up comedians. There's a reason why
they went into pharmaceuticals. As such, I think I'd like to proclaim a
moratorium on all route-of-administration jokes in any pharmaceutics
class. Pharmacy professors: spare your students and do not rant about
the importance of such statements as: "UNWRAP and insert" or "FOR VAGINAL
use only". Find one discrete class to mention it once, then pick
another specific class about 6 months later and mention again that "BY
MOUTH" or "USE RECTALLY" must be on prescriptions...but don't bother
telling the story about the gentleman who came into the pharmacy to
complain about how bad his suppositories tasted or the woman who's
symptoms were improving, she just "didn't like how the foil wrapper
felt". I chuckled awkwardly the first time, laughed a little the second
time, smiled the third, yawned the fourth... I'm barely through my
second quarter of classes as a first year student, and I don't have
enough fingers to count how many times a joke like that's been used.

Don't get me wrong: humor is great in the classroom. But jokes are
jokes only a few times. After that, the jokes on you.

I'm My Own Worst Patient

Considering I'm going to school to be a pharmacist, it's a bit ironic
that I'm rather "anti-medication" when it comes to myself. The last
time I took an OTC was maybe two weeks ago...a couple of Advil. I think
I did that twice last year. And the script I needed for a nail
infection, well, I refilled it once, took it pretty regularly, and then
my symptoms improved. The remaining refills are still on the Rx.
Perhaps I'll transfer it to Walgreens and cash in on a $25 giftcard like
the rest of America.

More than half of all insured Americans take medications for chronic
health conditions. American children are 3 times more likely to be on
psychotropic medications (for ADHD or depression) than their European
counterparts. And in 2002, the volume of medications dispensed in
America went up 25%. We are an Rx nation. The fact that drug companies
profit off of their consumers (not patients but consumers) is
unsettling. First they instill a psychological sense of dependence on
their medications (when in reality lifestyle modifications could
ameliorate symptoms of many chronic diseases and other treatment options
besides medications are available but much more time consuming).
Second, with this dependence ingrained, they can raise or lower prices
at will with little competition on the market. Consumers are left to
bend and sway at the command of big pharmaceutical companies.

My aversion to OTCs is equal: what a ploy that Tylenol sells a $12
bottle of APAP when the actual pills are pennies a piece. And then they
market the same bottle with "Arthritis relief" for $2 more, but seeing
that the typical consumer knows no difference, it's an automatic source
of profit.

Rx Speculation

Prescriptions come enmasse to the pharmacy, especially a 24-hour store. Maybe its the CSI-inspiration, but I always like to play a little-bit of the detective with each slip of paper and doctor-scribed pharmaceutical mandate.

For example, 3 scripts for Epipens, some antihistamines, birth control, and every type of inhaler on the FastRack. Dad gets his Xanax (to deal with the kids) and mom needs her Buspar (to deal with them all). Should dogs get Prozac if they seem down, too? The American dream of an overprotective, middleclass, white suburbia.

What kind of hurt is there for a teenage age kid, not even in high school, on their 3rd year of antidepressants?

The whole family comes in for a C-2 checkup. All brand, by the way. Patient requested, too..."Because we don't do 'generic' [look of disgust]". And can't you just put a label on it and give it to me? The scenario pans out multiple times throughout the day...it makes me wonder what kind of profession I'm getting into.

The caregiver for someone on Medicaid comes in to get a pharmacy goody bag. It's a small bible of patient leaflets and a grocery bag of drugs. The caregiver actually wanted to come in through drive-thru, but the bag didn't fit in the bin. As they stiletto through the front-end of the store in their Prada, swinging their Gucchi purse, I wonder why the government has to help pay for their parent's medical care. Any solutions, Obama?

Drugs R Us. Maybe we should hand out shirts with pharmaceutical logos on the back. The advertising dollars may help defray medication prices.